What the frick does that mean, Denise? Be LOVE? We all come into this world as pure love and it is the messages, beliefs, and experiences that shape masks our ways of being , or behaviours that hinders our way or ability to BE LOVE. For me, I understand BE LOVE as beginning with loving ourselves. Love Yourself first. You may be thinking I'm so tired of hearing that. I know I've heard it a gazillion times, and nothing about this helps me. But stop for a moment and really think, Do I
love myself? Do I care for myself as I would for someone I love?
I once had a session with a client, as she was sharing her struggles about finding love, I asked, do you love yourself? Of course she replied. I asked again do you love yourself? She became incredibly defensive and ended the session. We had obviously hit a vulnerable spot for her, one that in that moment she just was not ready to explore.
You see, I repeatedly asked her the question because in her sharing she continuously expressed harsh words about herself, and this is what she said out loud, I could not imagine how brutal her self-talk/head chatter was saying.
She spoke about what she was not doing for herself, no time or money for a self-care routine. Yet she indulged in hours of television , smoking, and she had become a weekend closet wine connoisseur or should I say consumptioner. She continued to share her horror stories of past relationships, and it was clear from my expertise these stories defined her love patterns that pointed directly to not being in love with herself.
Do you see what I'm saying?
To BE LOVE, begins with loving yourself first. And if you speak and treat yourself like you are your arch enemy you must take time to ask yourself am I behaving as if I am in love with myself?
Taking care of oneself is the most loving and generous things you can do, and a key way of preparing yourself to give love.
WE as women often spend more time taking care of others and not ourselves resulting in a drained way of being. Feeling that making sacrifices is an honourable way to give love. The thing with this is when you are drained, and making sacrifices you cannot be giving the best love you can give. It is more likely to be forced, and can build resentment. Giving when you've got nothing left to give.
Get the time alone that you need. Spend time with friends. Move your body more. When you keep going and giving without taking care of YOU eventually you will have nothing left for others or yourself. You cannot keep running on empty. Loving yourself more and taking care of yourself more will have enormous results when if comes to finding love and being more attractively magnetic.
If what I have shared with you is resonating and you are feeling a little uneasy you might be asking yourself "how will I begin to feel more comfortable to be love and to loving myself more?" I invite you to start with this simple yet powerful exercise.
Each morning when you rise and make your way to your bathroom, I'd like you to look in the mirror and greet yourself with the following:
"Good Morning ___(insert name, or even better, use a term of endearment Gorgeous, Beautiful, Baby Girl), and say I love you."
It might feel awkward at first but I promise you, it will get easier and it will bring you to a place where you are more comfortable. This is the first step to creating the space you need to put yourself in priority of a loving place.